| (no subject) |
[Dec. 22nd, 2009|11:10 am] |
| [ | music |
| | Deftones - Lifter | ] |
I feel very cold and very tired.
Food and sleep were ignored last night, so that Chid and Dave could complete Halo 3 ODST.
Although, time was made for the following conversation:
Me: Blah blah blah, but I don't think they accept people who are cutting themselves
Dave: Then that is another reason to stop
Me: Another reason?
Dave: Yes. You know, aside from having gaping holes in your arms.
Me: Ah. Yeah. There is also the mess, and getting stuck to things, and the money and the general grossness.
Dave: Exactly.
Me: ... ... ... But I don't want to.
Dave: *shrug* Ok.
Me: !?
Dave: I'm not going to harass you about it, you clearly feel pretty bad already.
It's not like he enables or encourages me, but the fact there is no pressure from him is very nice and keeps me calmer to some extent.
I had blood taken yesterday and it was a really pleasant experience, just a little pain at the end which I liked/could cope with. Also, my BMI is flagging as underweight, but I am feeling huge and piggish.
Plan for today is something like try and nap, then clean myself before making a start on the house and animals. After that, I will be preparing dinner before tramming it out to meet Dave from work so we can finish our Christmas shopping (seems a bit silly, seeing as I mostly have to buy his gifts). |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Dec. 17th, 2009|02:51 pm] |
I have been really flakey with uni this week. I don't know why, it only causes more problems and makes me feel worse than useless, but it's such a hard cycle to break. I am shit. Doesn't help that often times I will feel ok sat here doing nothing, but when I start to do things, suddenly all the pain and tiredness hits me.
Yesterday was our Christmas meal. I had not had a good health day, and I was running really late, so when I got there I had this horrible attack thing (I guess similar to a panic attack, but I think it was also brought on by head pain and not eating). I was shaking and nothing felt right and everyone looked scared. Unpleasant and awkward. Dave was a star and said it wasn't a big deal, and that he was just worried I was going to pass out. He also let me steal some of his beer when I started to perk up.
Related - stupidly, I paid £25 (in advance) for a three course meal, and ate barely any of it. Dave ate most/all of his because he is a piggy (<3). When we got home he caned a pack of Haribo, and I hit the biscuits and chocolate. Don't know, should have eaten more of the expensive, 'proper' food, but I was not stoned with the munchies then. And lately, it's really hard for me to eat without weed, because I feel so queasy all the damn time. I strongly suspect I would feel a million times healthier if I sorted out my diet and stopped living on biscuits coupled with the odd sandwich and meal, but I figure eating what I can stomach/be bothered to prepare is better than eating nothing for the time being.
Changed my gas and electric supplier today. The luck of being at home, I guess. £10 cheaper a month, plus the guy gave me a cheque for £40 (nicely, this works out as my monthly charge) which I can claim against my second bill. Score.
Had some snowflakes today. Barely a sprinkle, but enough to induce the dizzy snow glee. |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
dockland's Friends Page